ShigureNatsuki Takaya?
by Zanica Valentine
Summary: What if Shigure's pen name was Natsuki Takaya? What if Tohru's new friend from America found out? How will Akito react when he finds out? I'm not really sure about the romance, there probably wont be any or barely any. Rating may go down! R&R! UPDATED
1. The Best Day Gone Bad

A/N Hey y'all, um, well, you see, this was just an idea I had a few nights ago, but then I thought about it for a little while and it became a rabid plotbunny! It promised to stop chasing me if I wrote about it so I guess I have no choice... So tell me what you think so I can get rid of the silly bunny! Happy reading! Oh and I don't own Fruits Basket.

He walked down the street whistling cheerfully.

Really, it had been an awesome day for Mr. Shigure Sohma, dog of the Chinese Zodiac!

He had started off the day with a trip to the high school. Silly little Tohru had forgotten her bookbag so of course the gallant Shigure just had to make a personal call to the high school, wandering around and eyeing all the pretty girls instead of just asking for directions to Miss Honda's class. Eventually Yuki had found him, staring open mouthed and drooling at the Prince Yuki Fanclub President, Motoko. Yuki hadn't even hit him that time, he had just sighed and asked what the hell was Shigure doing in the high school, then upon seeing the bookbag, snatched it from him to give to Tohru and told him to go home.

Instead of going home, he had gone to Aya's house and cooked up an elaborate plan to dye Hatori's hair bright pink. To Shigure's surprise it actually worked. He had even managed to turn the tables on Aya and dye his hair a vibrant shade of blue. While Hatori had seemed to go into a state of shock, Aya went into hysterics, flailing around in a Ritsu like manner and screeching about 'his poor beautiful hair' and 'the wrath of Kondra'.

Shigure had nearly choked from uncontrollable laughter, that isuntil Hatori, suddenly regaining his thought process, chased him out of the house yelling that he was going to tell the world about the time Shigure had been caught doing 'unspeakable' things with their English teacher in the eleventh grade.

While ruining his best friends hair he had also successfully avoided his editor, Mii, until the last second. He had caught her about to walk into oncoming traffic and, upon stopping her, had given her his manuscript.

All in all, he thought this might just be the best day of his life.

So as he walked up the steps whistling cheerfully he was completely unprepared for the sight that met his eyes. Yuki and Kyo were standing just inside the door.

Just standing there.

And...

Uh oh...

Holding four books.

Four books with a goofy looking brunette circled by the twelve animals of the Zodiac, a blue haired boy circled by the twelve animals of the Zodiac, a bright orange haired red eyed boy, and a anime version of himslef on the covers.

'Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit **shit**! This is bad. Bad bad bad bad **bad**! They found them. My secret project. Those must be the finished copies of my books. Mii-chan promised to send them.' Shigure thought, panicing.

"What the HELL is this Shigure? Are you TRYING to get Akito to kill you? 'Cause that's what's gonna happen if he ever finds out about this little project of yours!" Kyo hollered, because that seems to be the only way he can talk when he's upset over something.

Yuki just stared at him, waiting patiently for him to explain.

"They're only being published in the United States and the other side of Japan so he won't find out. And no one from here will get them so no one will realize it's true." Shigure explained quickly.

"And what if some American comes looking for the author and realizes he is from the books?" Yuki asked.

"They won't find the author. First of all, my pen name for those books is Natsuki Takaya, not Shigure Sohma, and second of all, 'Natsuki Takaya' is a woman. No one will find out." Shigure replied.

Suddenly the door burst open and Tohru flew in, grinning like a maniac.

"Oh guess what! The most wonderful thing has happened! We are getting an new student at the high school and I have been asked to show her around! I'm her new guide, I might have to translate a few things to her as well! Oh isn't this wonderful?" She exclaimed.

"Translate?" Yuki asked slowly.

"Well yes, she's an American, didn't I say that? I guess not!" She giggled, "Anyways, her parents have gone on a business trip that will take anywhere from three to four years, so she's coming to Japan to live with her Grandmother. She sent a letter to whoever was going to be her guide. She seems very polite, oh and she also said she was looking forward to coming. It seems she really likes manga! She named a few series she reads, Yu Yu Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin, Inuyasha, and one I'm not familiar with. Something called Fruits Basket? I'm not sure. She wants to read the Japanese versions! I'm going to let her borrow mine!" Tohru said and rushed up the stairs to her room.

Kyo shook his head and walked up the stairs as well mumbling something about going the roof.

Yuki looked at Shigure, "No one will ever guess, huh? Okay Shigure, you believe that..."

Then Yuki walked out the door, leaving Shigure to stare open mouthed up the stairway.

The best day of his life. Yeah right.

He sighed, closed his eyes and began banging his head on the wall. This could be bad. Real bad...

A/N So how is it? Is it good? Should I continue? If you want me to continue I need to know you're reading it, so REVIEW NOW! I'll update sooner if you review, I promise! Oh and about the hair dying, I just had to! Hatori is so... Serious, and Aya's so obsessed with his appearance! I think they'd both have heart attacks if that really happened in the series, don't you? Ha ha ha! See you in the next chapter, Bye bye! -Zanica Valentine-

**_Quickediting of this chapter done on August 4, 2005_**


	2. It's all real?

A/N Woo hoo! I win! I got reviews! And they weren't from people I already know! I'm so happy! Well thanx to my wonderful reviewers, I wrote this chapter because of your reviews! So, on with the story, oh and the American is NOT me. Just thought I'd let you all know that. Again, I don't own it so don't sue me.

I looked out the circular airplane window and sighed. I was actually kind of nervous about this little adventure.

What if my tour guide is really bad at English, or doesn't like me? That, I decided quickly, would not happen.

The plane pilot came over the speaker to say that the plane was about to land. I grimaced. I absolutely detested landing, so I shut my eyes tightly and blocked out everything.

Suddenly the man sitting next to me poked me gently in the arm and whispered, "Excuse me Miss, we landed safely, you can open your eyes now." I jumped and opened my eyes, blushing. I murmured a quick thanks to the man and swiftly exited the plane.

I glanced around and saw a pretty brunette holding up a sign that said Nicole on it. And looking around with the most amusingly eager look on her face. I laughed and walked over to the girl.

"I'm Nicole Taraki, and you must be my tour guide! It's nice to meet you." I announced.

The brunette smiled brightly and said, "So you're Nicole, it's nice to meet you as well! I am Tohru Honda, I hope I can answer any questions you might have about Japan!"

I felt my eyes widen slightly at the name, but I quickly dismissed it as a coincidence.

"Um, well I really hate to have to ask you this but, you see the family I was supposed to live with is a little busy right now. Grams is moving to a nearby city and attempting to start a business and she really doesn't have the time to deal with me so, canImaybestayatyourplaceforawhileifthatsokaywithyou?"

Tohru blinked, "Uh, I'm sorry but I didn't really catch that last bit, could you say it again?"

I laughed nervously and forced myself to say it slowly as I repeated my request, "Can I maybe stay at your place for a while if that's okay with you?"

"Oh that's all? Of course! I'm sure Shigure won't mind, I mean he did the same for me when I had nowhere to stay." Tohru replied excitedly, "It'll be so much fun! I'll get to introduce you to everyone right away!"

_'Shigure? I wonder...Nah that's not possible, it's just a fictional story... That is weird though, a Shigure took a homeless Tohru in just like the book! However, she hasn't mentioned Yuki or Kyo and if it was true she would have by now...'_ I thought slowly.

"This will be fun, you're right! I can't wait to meet your housemates!" I said out loud pushing all thoughts of Fruits Basket out of my head.

We walked outside to the black car waiting for us. We hopped into the car and a deep voice from the drivers seat began speaking.

"Miss Honda, Where are we going?" It asked in a bored tone.

"Nicole will be staying with us for a while Hatori, just take us to Shigure's please."

My eyes got impossibly wide.

_'Hatori too... Alright I am SO asking!'_

"So Tohru... Who else lives at Shigure's home?" I asked innocently.

"Kyo and Yuki Sohma." She answered immeadiatly, getting a fond look in her eyes.

_'Oh my god. Oh My God. OH MY GOD!'_

"Really," I said, lowering my voice to a whisper, "Do they happen to have any dark secrets?"

She gasped looking horrified, "Uhhhhh...Ummmmmm...Like, uh, like what?"

_'Hmmmmm... I guess that's a yes. I'll have to talk to Shigure, he is the author and the only one insane enough to pull a stunt like that.'_

"Oh I dunno, like maybe turning into animals whenever someone of the opposite sex hugs them?" I asked, truly curious as to what she would say.

Her expression is priceless, eyes wide, mouth open, I think she may have even stopped breathing.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoythe expressionlong because the car suddenly swerved off the road and jerked to a complete stop.

No one spoke for a few minutes.

"Would you mind telling me how you have come to the Sohma family secret?" Hatori asked in afaint shockedvoice.

I think I sent him into shock. Oops.

"Um... It's in the books, and no I will not allow you to erase my memory!" I finished my sentance suddenly worried that I wouldn't have my new knowledge for long, seeing as how the one who protects the secrecy of the secret was actually in the car with me.

I quickly pulled out my laptop and sent myself an email stating what I just found out.

"And even if you do I will still know since my proof is currently sitting in my inbox and-" I flipped open my camera phone and took his picture, "in my phone."

I smiled triumphantly. "And what's with the hat?"

"One of my idiot cousins did something to my hair which makes it damaging to my reputation if I don't hide it. Anyways. I had no intention of erasing your memory. Yet. If Akito, I assume you know Akito as well, wishes it to be done you will have no choice in the matter. What books are you talking about?" He replied ina slightyl confusedvoice.

"Fruits Basket of course!"

Seeing his blank expression I sighed and pulled the manga out of my backpack, I had reread it on the plane. Handing him thetenbooks, I quickly snatched his hat. I laughed at his expression of disbelief and slight shock. Then I saw his hair. I cracked up.

"Oh my god! Is Shigure okay? You didn't kill him did you? Oh andjust to let you knowI personally love the color pink on you!" I rushed with a smirk.

"Shigure is alive and well to both mine and Aya's disapointment. Thanks to Shigure, Aya's hair is now, hmmm what did that label say? Oh yes Blue Streak Shocker. And I personally do **not** love the color pink on me. Especially if it's in my hair." He replied soundingannoyed.

I laughed evilly picturing Ayame's distress over his beautiful hair.

"Ayame probably looked like Chicken with it's head chopped off. I bet he said something about the wrath of Kondra. I can't wait to see your revenge on Shii-chan! It should be sweet! I'll help if you want!" I giggled out.

Hatori laughed THE evil laugh, you know the one, the **BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA** kind.

Tohru and I glanced at each other wondering if the dye had done something to his head.

"Are you alright?" I asked hesitantly.

The laughing stopped abruptly.

"Yes I am perfectly fine. I was just picturing Shigure after I get my revenge. Oh and I suppose you could be of help." He replied.

I sighed, wondering if Shigure would be okay after this.

Then I grinned, who am I kidding, Like I care if he's okay in the end!This is gonna be great! I glanced at the manga.

"Aren't you gonna read those?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes. Of course." Hatori mumbled.

He read them all rightthere. It only took three hours. I was bored so I pulled out my laptop again and started typing up emails to my Fruits Baskets obsessed friends telling them my discovery. I can't decide whether I want to keep my discovery to myself or not... Ah well I'll leave the sending of these to another time.

"I cannot believe he is that stupid. What possessed him to think he could do this and have no one find out? Stupid dog, looks like I'm gonna be covering for him again. Damn dog's gonna lose me my job someday..." He grumbled.

Then we set off on the drive to Shigure's house with Hatori muttering all the way about dogs anddresses and such, laughing the evil laugh occationaly... This is gonna be fun.

A/N Sorry about the long wait! Really I am, I've been busy! Camp, My cottage, Tales of symphonia, being lazy. Yeah. Well sorry, Did you like it? Tell me now! Click that button! Alright, got to go and watch Inuyasha. Bye for now.

Zanica Valentine

**Quickedit done on August 4, 2005**


	3. Cat's Always Land On Their Feet

**A/N Hey buddies! Sorry about the wait, I just started HIGH SCHOOL! How cool is that? I am now a Kimball High School Freshman! Yay! . I'm so excited, it's really fun! I have a new obsession: HEATH LEDGER! HE IS THE HOTTEST MAN ON EARTH! (**8/4/05 nope Colin Farrell is the hottest man alive... ;)**)Yes Genny, even hotter than Orlando Bloom. Anyways, on with the story.**

I smiled evilly when Hatori finished telling us his plan. Little did he know this torture wasn't ending with his plan.

_No way, I'mgonna milk this for all it's worth! I can make Shigure do anything I want him to do!_

I was still smiling evilly and plotting when I suddenly realized that everyone was out of the car already.

I blushed and hopped out quickly.

I glanced down at the flyer in my hand. 'MISSING DOG' was printed across the top. I laughed and stuck it in my pocket.

We headed up the path to the door. _Wow, it looks exactly like in the books!_

Hatori knocked, and we heard a voice coming from the roof.

"Hari? Tohru? We're on the roof! Come up, come up!" It was an adult male voice with a childish tone of excitement to it. It had to be Shigure.

Tohru and Ilooked at each other, nervous about what we would find up there.

Hatori sighed, "We might as well go… What will be will be I suppose."

We headed nervously around to the ladder. As we climbed, I heard a soft sort of chuckling and the sound of a struggle. When Hatori got to the top, I saw his jaw drop and just as he started to say 'Oh my god' I heard the sound of tape being ripped off something.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? HATORI DON'T JUST STAND THERE YOU DUMBASS HELP ME!" A frantic pissed off voice howled.

I got up to the top of the ladder and began to take in the chaotic scene.

Yuki, laughing softly,stood just behind Hatori, who was still standing there like an invalid. Shigure stood at the edge of the roof holding a giant orange puffball.

On closer inspection, I saw that it was an extremely angry cat with all it's fur poofed up.

My jaw dropped.

Shigure couldn't possibly be about to do what I think he is, he's not_that_ stupid. He looks like he's gonna toss Kyo off the roof!

Tohru's eyes widened as she climbed off the ladder after me and took in the scene, then her jaw dropped and her eyes went all starry. I was suddenly reminded of the slide in the third book when she has an emotional overload.

"Oh Shut up Kyo! It's just a bit of fun you know! Hatori, you remember when Tohru was talking about all the advantages of being a cat right? She said they always land their feet remember? Well, I have decided I'm going to test it!" Shigure announced in a sing-songish voice. He drew back his arms and prepared to throw Kyo off the roof.

_Good God, he's insane! I cannot let him throw poor Kyo off the roof! Ihave tostop him!_

I rushed across the roof, moving faster than I've ever moved before,and plucked Kyo from his arms.

"Are you insane! You can't just throw him off the roof because you're curious! Curiosity may have killed the cat but it was his own damned curiosity not anidiot dog's!" I snapped.

Kyo was staring at me in what seemed to be amazement. He opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it again and gave a very unconvincing, "Meow?"

I laughed, and then jumped back when I saw Shigure inching closer, his eyes on Kyo.

"Gimme back my kitty!" Shigure pouted.

Kyo hissed, this time actually sounding like a cat.

I backed over to Tohru, whispered, "Do it now!" and backed a few more steps. She snapped out of her trance like state and grinned.

"Oh Shigure I was so worried! You were so close to the edge and I'm sorry I didn't do anything but I just couldn't move!" Tohru gushed, inching closer and closer to Shigure. He looked slightly surprised, then looked at me as if just realizing he didn't know me.

He's so oblivious when he's having fun, just like in the books.Here it goes!

Tohru pretended to trip and fell right into Shigure's arms. There was athud and then a little black dog was sprawled in his place.

Perfect! He looks identical to the dog on the flyer!

I set Kyo down and said softly, "If you ever have to meow in public, you are so screwed! Nice try though Kyo. By the way, I'm Nicole, the exchange student from America."

His eyes widened and then realization dawned on him, "You read that stupid dogs manga, don't you?"

I nodded then stood and walked over to Shigure. Hatori was already at his side, I don't want to know what he was saying, something scary no doubt.

"So, I've finally met the great Natsuki Takaya. I'm Nicole, it's nice to meet you."

**A/N** **How will Shigure react? What is Hatori's revenge? You can probably already guess the revenge. It was gonna be in this chapter but I can't feel my fingers and I still have to do my math homework. Until next time, Review me and Goodbye! Zanica Valentine**

_**Quickedit done on August 4, 2005**_


	4. Click! You're on Candid Camera!

AN: Wow, I'm sorry you guys! I had the fourth chappie written and everything, I was just too lazy to update it... I'M SO SOOOOOORRY WOOORRLD! I DOON'T DEEEESSEEERRRVE TOOO LIIIIVEE! Hehheh... Here's the next chapter.

The dog grinned, "You think I'm great?"

I laughed, "Well of course I do! You're my favorite manga artist AND my favorite character!"

If a dog could look self-satisfied, Shigure definitely did.

"Unfortunately for you I just LOVE to torture my favorites. Personally, I love what you've done to Hatori's hair, he doesn't seem to happy though. I'm sure Aaya's looks just as good!" I said.

I walked over and swooped him up off the roof. And almost fell over. He's surprisingly heavy for his size.

"Jeez, lay off the twinkies would ya?" I gasped out.

"Hey! A writer needs food to make his mind work! Twinkies just happen to be my fuel of choice!" Shigure whimpered struggling to get out of my hold.

I tightened my grasp and started down the ladder. It teetered dangerously as Shigure continued struggling.

"Quit moving you dolt! If I fall, you fall, and then we'd both be hurt! You don't want that do you?" I growled in annoyance as Hatori grabbed the ladder to keep it from falling.

Shigure went still and I managed to navigate the rest of the way down the ladder without killing myself.

When I got down he tried a new tactic. He turned his big sad puppy-dog eyes on me and I nearly melted.

No not really, I just kind of stared at him blankly.

"C'mon now Miss Nicole, you don't really want to embarrass me do you? Please, please, please put me down and I promise I'll never do it again!" He whimpered pathetically.

"Nah, I'll just not put you down and you can keep the privilege to do it again another time." I replied with a wink, watching Tohru climb off the ladder.

I looked around. Hatori's already on the ground so that just leaves... Uh oh...

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! PUT ME DOWN YOU DAMN RAT!"

I gasped! How could Hatori have left them up there alone, he's their cousin does he not know that he can't leave them alone together?

I threw Shigure at Hatori as a giant orange fluff flew over the edge of the roof and plummeted towards the ground.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I raced to the edge of the house, weaving back and forth, trying to figure out exactly where he would fall. The giant fluffball landed in my arms with a screech and sunk it's claws into my shirt. It was hyperventilating and staring around like it expected to get attacked. I stroked him down his back soothingly.

"Shhhhh, It's okay, I've caught you, you're alright." I crooned comfortingly.

Kyo looked up at me and mewed like little kitten. I nearly melted and this time I'm serious! He was just that cute!

Then he started to shake and buried his head against my neck. I heard laughing from behind me. I spun around and saw Yuki just stepping off the last rung of the ladder. I stormed right over to him and smacked him right in face. Oh my god. I just hit 'The Prince'.

Heheh, that felt pretty good... Stupid rat deserved it...

"You monster! Just look at what you've done to your poor cousin! Why, he's shaking like a leaf! How stupid are you? My god! You could have given him a heart attack! Jerk!" I spat out angrily.

He stared at me in shock. Heh, maybe I gave him brain damage... I hope not, my friend Genny back home just might kill me! I turned and headed towards the car, indicating that Hatori should do the same.

"Thank you" Kyo mewed in my ear.

"Don't mention it, I mean I couldn't just sit there and let you be turned into catmeat! I was obligated to save you! Besides, if I hadn't I would never be able to see if you're really as attractive as Shigure makes you out to be!" I whispered back.

The cat in my arms shifted around and stared at me. Heseemed shocked. I smirked and laughed, placing a kiss on the top of his head. He really is just too cute!

"So when you guys change back is there really a big POOF and cloud of conveniently placed fog or was that just- Ohmigod!"

There is a very embarrassed, very orange-haired, very _naked_ Kyo sitting on the ground right in front of me... My face turned twenty shades of red as I spun around. I giggled.

"Guess not..."

"Erm... Er...Ummm..." Kyo coughed from behind me, "It's...er... nice to meet you Miss Nicole... Thanks again for saving me..."

"Nikki. Call me Nikki, no miss needed. And it's nice to meet you as well... You need clothes right?" I mumbled through my embarrassment.

"Yeah, I suppose I do... I'll just... Go inside... Now..." He stammered.

"No hang on, I have a gigantic sweatshirt in the car if you don't want to run about naked..." I said starting towards the car.

"Sure... Thanks." I heard him say. Then I heard some scrambling and shrubbery movement.

"I'm behind a bush now so when you get it you can just turn around and give it to me."

I reached into the back seat where I had left my sweatshirt. It may have been freezing where I came from but it certainly wasn't here... I turned, my bigbrightpinksweatshirt in hand to find Kyo blushing a brilliant shade of red and clenching his jaw so hard I found myself worried it would break. Inwardly, I laughed evilly. I was gonna have some fun with this... Even if he started yelling this would be fun!

I walked right over to the bush and looked over what I could see of him. I noticed him start to shift uncomfortably and almost laughed. I slowly drew my eye's up to his face, meeting his awkward gaze with my own predetorial one. He gulped visibly. This time I did giggle, handing him the sweatshirt.

"Yep, you are definitely as yummy as Shigure made you out to be!" I said stepping away, "Is it big enough?"

He glanced down and then looked at me.

"You're about 5 inches shorter than me, what the hell do you think!" Kyo grumbled at me.

"Let me go grab some pj pants I've got in my backpack. They're huge on me and they have a drawstring, there is no way they could not fit you." I said briskly.

I came back with the pants in hand, grinning ear to ear at his disbelieving stare. My pj's are bright blue with pink, the same pink as the sweatshirt,happy bunnies on them saying obscene things. Girly to the third power! Kyo looked up from the pants with a look that said '_You have **GOT** to be kidding me!_'.

"Do you want pants or not!" I said impatiently shaking them at him. He snatched them from me, disappearing from view for a few seconds as he yanked them on.

"Make sure you wash those real well before you give them back... You aren't even wearing underwear!" I said, making a face.

He straightened and stepped out from behind the bush and right into my camera phone trap. He groaned as the telltale flash blinded him.

"Erase that. Now!" The angry cat demanded.

I shook my head, sticking my phone into my pocket. Or trying to at least. Kyo let out a yell and tackled me. Um, isn't he like, not able to do that? He shoved me to the ground and sat on my chest.

"Gimme that phone right this second! Damn woman!" He growled.

"Um, like, Why are you not a cat?" I asked in a confused voice.

"I kept my hands on your shoulders for that reason. That's how we can get around the rule, we can dowhat we want as long as we don't actually embrace the girl!" He snapped.

"Kinky!" I purred, winking at him. I starting laughing uncontrollably asKyo's faceflooded with color. He'sas red as a fire truck!

"ERASE IT NOW!" Kyo bellowed.

"No. It's too cute to delete!" I said stubbornly, unwilling to destroy such an adorable picture. I stretched my arm above my head as far as it would go, taking it just barely out of his reach unless he got off my chest. He grabbed for it anyway, reaching desperately.

And that was how Hatori, Shigure, Yuki, and Tohru found us. Kyo sitting on my chest and leaning over my head and me smirking up at him in triumph as I kept my phone out of his reach. Except they couldn't see the phone.

"What are you doing? Stupid cat why are you molesting our American visitor? How rude." Yuki said cooly. Did he even remember that I had smacked him? Damn him! He threw my Kyo off the roof!

I glanced at Hatori, who was staring in fascination, then Tohru whose gaze was moving so quickly from my face to Kyo's her head seemed to be moving at the speed of light, and then I looked at Shigure, writhing in delight and howling with laughter. Perfect.

"N-no! It's not like that! She-She took a picture of me! Like this! I'm not molesting her you damn rat! Who would want to do that?" Kyo shrieked from my chest where he was cutting off my air flow.

"ME!" Shigure yelped at the same time as I said "YOU!"

We looked at each other and began roaring with laughter.

"Aw, hell with it! I'm going to my room!" He shouted, and jumped off me. As he stomped away, I stood and brushed the dust off me as I slipped my cell into my pocket. I cleared my throat, staring at Tohru pointedly. Her eye's lit up with one of those 'oh yeah' looks and she snatched up Shigure.

"Okay, let's go!" I said and headed to the car. Yuki walked to the house muttering about lunatics and the other's got into the car, or, in Shigure's case, were thrown into the car.

I smiled.

"I'm driving."

**AN:** So... I finally updated... again, I'm sorry about the wait! And for any of you who read The Prank, I'm writing the next chappie as you read this so it should be up before the end of Spring Break! I'm trying real hard so leave me a review! I'll give you a brownie!

**Zanica Valentine**

_**Quickedit done on August 4, 2005**_


	5. Finally Hatori Gets his Revenge!

**SORRY!I obviously don't own any of the bands or lyrics mentioned in thic chapter, and please excuse the bad language in the eminem lyrics, I mean it's eminem the f-bomb is to be expected with him. And so without further delay I give you chapter 5! (sorry I really am I hit a plot wall SORRY!)**

**NICOLE'S POV**

I buckled my seat belt and snatched the keys off the dash board. As I started the car I glanced over realizing we were missing Hatori. I spotted him standing in front of the car staring at me like I was insane. I glared pointedly and gestured to the passenger seat impatiently.

He shook his head and slowly walked to the side, opened the door and climbed in. I smirked.

"You look worried Hatori. Is something wrong?" I asked feigning confusion and concern.

"You're driving." He stated as though that explained everything, gulped and buckled his seat belt. Then he looked me over and tightened his belt as much as possible. How offensive…

I rolled my eyes and looked at the sound system. Or lack there of. All his car had was a tape player.

"Lets see what Hatori listens to while he drives…" I murmured and pressed the little play button.

Doo doo doo doo do du du du du doo doo doo doo do du du du du

I cringed and blindly jabbed at the stop button.

"Aw _hell_ no. What. Was. That?" I managed to get out.

Hatori sniffed and turned his head away in annoyance, "It's Mozart. It's what us _classy_ and _intelligent_ people listen to."

"Now that was cold, Hatori. That was real cold." I said with a fake shiver, "Here's what us _cool_ and _interesting_ people listen to. Tohru would you pass me the small blue bag back there please?" I asked.

A second later the bag was thrust forward.

"This it?"

"Yeah thanks."

Within seconds I had my own CD player hooked up to the car. Hatori just stared at me.

I pulled out one of the random unlabeled Cds and stuck it in. I turned the volume up and pressed play.

_**TO THE WINDOOOOOOOW TO THE WALL!**_

I grimaced and poked the stop button. Hatori now had a skeptical look on his face. I quickly put in another CD.

_**These chicks don't even know the name of my band**_

_**But they all on me like the want to hold hands**_

_**Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man**_

_**All because I'm the lead singer of my band**_

_**So I get onstage right **_

_**drop the mike**_

_**Walk up to these hot chicks and I'm all like**_

_**Sup ladies my names Slim Shady and I'm the lead singer of D12 baby**_

_**They're all like OMG IT'S HIM**_

_**BECKY OMFG IT'S EMINEM**_

_**I swear to fucking god that you fucking rock**_

_**Please won't you please let me suck your cock**_

Hmm. Maybe Eminem isn't the best choice for this crowd, other than Shigure who's singing along back there, Hatori looks creeped out and Tohru looks shocked. I pushed the skip to next song button. This is one of my better Cds, it's a good mix and I think the only rap on there is the first one.

_**Brothers and sisters put this record down**_

_**Take my advice WE ARE BAD NEWS**_

_**We will leave you high and dry**_

Yes. Finally good music. Fallout Boy is the _best_ band ever! I start singing along and I notice Hatori and Tohru haven't made strange faces at this song and Shigure is singing along again.

I glance at Hatori one more time and- OMG are his lips moving! He knows this song! I grin mischievously as I get a great idea. I signal at Shigure to shush on the count of three using the chair to block it so Hatori doesn't see.

One…

…Two…

…THREE!

I turned the volume all the way down.

"The ribbon on my wrist says do not-" Hatori cut himself off with a blush and seemed to begin studying the window.

I raised an eyebrow. He actually has a good voice… I think I'll just have to make him sing for me later. Shigure's is good too.

Ohhhhhhhhhh this will be FUN! Karaoke with the Sohma family! Hahahaha! And with that thought and a laugh I peel out of the driveway and speed along the straight road towards the town.

Twelve songs, five would be tickets if I wasn't a cute American, and seven near accidents later found us parked in the driveway of 347 Chinko drive. I parked the car. Hatori didn't move. Perhaps he had a heart attack.

"We're here…" I announced helpfully.

"I know. I'm simply amazed we're alive that's all." He grumbled sitting for a moment more and then climbing out of the car grabbing Shigure from the back seat and heading up to the door.

I waited for him to come back.

Finally he walked out of the house and back towards the car.

Wait…What's going on? Why does he still have Shigure?

He got back in the car looking annoyed.

"Damn woman already found her dog. Apparently he was never even out of the house. She found him in her toilet, wet but still alive. Now what am I going to do to him?" He groaned looking desperate.

"I guess there's nothing you can do, let's just go home shall we?" Shigure said in a happy voice.

Hatori glared at the dog in his lap then sent me a pleading look. I pursed my lips in thought and then I know I got a truly evil gleam in my eye. I thought back to the poster I had seen, a grand opening of the pet store across town. I took off as I remembered the address.

"Where are we going?" Shigure and Hatori questioned at the same time.

"I'm sure Nicole knows what she's doing." Tohru said from the back, apparently over the shock of blaring rap music.

Within minutes I screeched the car to a halt in front of the store.

"Tohru come here and I'll tell you exactly what to do. This is gonna be great!" I exclaimed, grinning broadly in excitement.

She leaned in and nodded a few times as I gave her instructions then she smiled uncertainly.

"If you're sure it's okay if we do that than okay. I'm ready." She said and scooped up Shigure from the front and headed into the store. About five minutes later she jogged back out and jumped into the car.

"They said okay?" I asked.

"Yep, they said he was very handsome and would do nicely." She answered.

I smirked. This was just too good.

"Anyone care to fill me in?" Hatori growled clearly annoyed.

I winked at him, "You'll see."

And I sped off back to the house.

As soon as I pulled in the driveway I jumped out of the car, throwing the keys at Hatori and grabbing Tohru, demanding that she take me to the nearest TV and put on the news channel. The actual opening is at 6:00.

It's 5:58.

As we zoomed past Yuki and Kyo who seemed to be yelling at each other over who dropped the piece of lettuce on the floor I told them to come to the TV if they wanted to see the dog get a taste of his own medicine.

Kyo immediately began following us, an excited gleam in his eyes. Hatori and Yuki walked in a minute later and I noticed Hatori had two of my suit cases and my backpack.

"Hatori you dolt, I would have got those but we don't want to miss it!" I said, feeling a bit bad that he had brought my stuff in.

"Maybe I'd be a bit more excited if I knew what was going on…" He stated in a monotone.

Just as he finished that sentence the TV screen started flashing.

"**_BREAKING NEWS" _**The TV announced.

I snickered evilly in anticipation and everyone looked apprehensively to the screen.

"Hiya! Botan here and yes my hair is naturally this color so please do not send me any more mail asking me where I found this beautiful blue color. I am here at the new pet shop downtown where drama is unfolding." The woman onscreen, who looked to be about 20, announced standing in front of the pet store we had just left.

"It is thought that the store pulled this stunt to get them more publicity but the store manager insists that just moments before the curtains were dropped in the fourth window a beautiful male black lab sat in there not the beautiful male white human who sits there now."

The camera zoomed in on a very red, very naked, Shigure sitting with his legs crossed, presumably trying a keep some dignity, as two police men attempted to get him to stand and leave the window.

"As you can see, although the female population in general-me included- would disagree, it seems that this man, who happens to be a successful novelist, is wearing much too little for this occasion. Or so the police say. I must say though, if I can get pets like him here they will definitely be hearing from me!" The woman finished with a wink.

The camera zoomed in on Shigure again who was being passed some boxers by the closest policeman.

"Hmm," She pouted, "Seems he will be clad in at least boxers before he will come out. How sad…"

Shigure swiftly yanked on his boxers, and promptly lost his balance and fell flat on his face, butt sticking straight up in the air.

Laughter came from the surrounding and growing crowd as the police took advantage of his position and snapped handcuffs on him.

"I would definitely take _that_ puppy home with what he's wearing now! Handcuffs and boxers, what an ensemble! Mrrrrrow!" The reporter mewed suggestively.

As Shigure was lead out of the window and sight the crowd as a whole sighed at the loss.

"This was your most important breaking news! Botan OUT!"

As the woman finished speaking I clicked off the television and looked around. Everyone was staring at me.

All of a sudden the room burst into action.

Tohru started giggling and Kyo was rolling around the floor absolutely howling with laughter. Yuki looked at me in surprise and appreciation looking close to laughter. Hatori still gaped at me.

"You. Are. A. Maz. Ing." He managed to get out, "He'll never live that down!"

I just smirked smugly.

"We should go get him out of jail now…" I said, then laughed as I imagined the face he would get when he saw Hatori. I knew he wouldn't be mad at me, he'd admire my ingenuity he'd be upset with Hatori since it was him I thought of it for.

About a half hour later I was in the police station with Tohru since the others didn't want to get him out of jail yet.

"I demand that you let me in to see my fool of a brother right this instant!" I exclaimed indignantly when they tried to tell me I wasn't allowed.

"And I suppose she's another sister?" He said sarcastically, gesturing at Tohru.

I sniffed snobbishly, "Of course not Tohru is Shigure-kun's fiancé."

The guy laughed, obviously thinking we were just some gawkers off the street who had seen the event on TV.

"Go and ask him. Do you have a sister named Nicole and a fiancé named Tohru. If that doesn't convince you ask him where I've been away to. He'll tell you America. How would he know to say America if we weren't already acquainted?" I asked in a dangerous voice.

He still looked reluctant but nodded uncertainly and headed to the back.

When he came back to the front he gave a grudging nod and told us to go back. We saw him immediately, he had his head stuck out the bars.

I ran straight over and hugged him through the bars. Without a noise he turned into a dog and just as I had thought he'd be able to, he slipped between the bars. I knelt and placed a small kiss on top of his head.

"I've got to hand it to you, that was pretty cool." He grinned doggedly as he softly woofed at me.

I smiled, and murmured a quick thanks as I buckled the collar around his neck and snapped the leash on.

"Alright guys, time for some good acting. Shigure act like a dog, be calm and obedient but if they notice you sniff things maybe act like you're going to piss on something- don't actually pee on anyone or thing- and Tohru just stand there and look annoyed. Let me do the talking." I instructed in a stage whisper.

I straightened up and stalked out into the front room again, Shigure keeping up with me perfectly.

"Is this your idea of a joke!" I snapped.

The man looked up startled clearly wondering what I was going on about, "Ma'am please calm down I don't know what you're talking abo-"

"The hell you don't! My brother isn't even back there! Jerk! I'll be speaking to your supervisor about this!" I snarled halfway out the door.

"Where did that dog come from miss?" A different voice asked suspiciously.

"I've had him the whole time you dolts! I would never let Kuroinu out of my sight! I'll be reporting your lack of attention to detail as well!" I yelled over my shoulder as the door shut. I opened the backseat door for Shigure then walked quickly around to the drivers side door and jumped in. I took off.

"You're my new hero." Shigure whimpered from the back, "You played an awesome prank AND you came and saved me!"

"Twas nothing, nothing at all. So Shigure… Have you ever heard of a game called Karaoke Revolution?"

**AN:** Sorry about the wait. I tried to make it extra long and funny for you guys who haven't given up on me despite my lack of activity. Hope you liked it R & R as always.


End file.
